Decision-Making

Part of aging gracefully is knowing when a lifestyle change will enhance your quality of life. It's not easy making that decision. Families often find it difficult to discern the needs of their loved ones, and then discuss with them the lifestyle changes required to meet those needs.

On this page, you'll find advice on how to assess loved ones' needs and how to discuss needed lifestyle changes. If you know your loved one is having problems, waste no time in taking action. As difficult as the process might be, by being proactive you are providing for your loved one's health, happiness, and safety.

We're here to help you and your family explore your options and to make these life-changing transitions as easy as possible. Please feel free to contact us at any time.

How to Access Needs

Family members often mistakenly attribute things like forgetfulness, poor housekeeping, or a messy physical appearance to "old age."

Using your senses - sight, sound, smell, taste, touch - and the checklist below, you can check for signs your loved one may need additional care or assistance.

Sight

Changes in appearance or housekeeping can be a sign seniors are being limited physically or mentally from completing normal daily tasks.

Do they get out of their nightclothes during the day?
Are they wearing clothes with food stains?
Is their hair completely combed?
Are they normally clean-shaven, but not now?
Do their teeth appear clean?
Does she continue to wear makeup?
How do their shoes look?
Is the house orderly and clean?

Sound

Listening to what seniors say and how they speak tells you about their mental status.

Smell

Your nose will tell you if your family member is bathing properly, keeping his or her home clean, and eating regularly.

Does your loved one smell clean?
Does their living environment possess any unpleasant odors?
Does the refrigerator or the cupboards smell bad?
Is there an unusual amount of mail, garbage, clutter, dust, or dirt?

Touch

A hug can tell you if your family member is fragile or losing weight, which could mean they are malnourished or at great risk of injury.

Touch their skin. Is it soft and supple, and is the color normal?
Do they have unusual tearing or bruising of the skin?
Do they appear healthy?

Taste

Tasting seniors' food and sorting through their medications will help you determine if they are eating healthy or taking outdated or wrong medications.

Do they have freshly stocked pantry items? Check expiration dates.
How does their food taste?
Does the person appear to move around the kitchen safely?
Are there many different prescriptions? Have any medications expired?
Do they know what medications they are taking?
Do they take their medications at the proper times?
Do the medications come from different doctors or pharmacies?

Dealing with Change

Changes can be one of the most difficult experiences for humans, and the older we are typically the more difficult change can be. Here are some tips for helping the patient and the family work through these changes.

Always keep your loved one's best interests in mind. Listen to his or her feelings, needs, wishes, and desires. Allow loved ones to make as many decisions as possible to give them a greater sense of control. Realize you cannot force people to do what they don't want to do.
Talk with family. Before you talk to your parent or loved one, talk to other members of your family to make sure you agree on the issues at hand and reach a consensus on how best to address those issues.
Find out what's available. Tour facilities and gather information on services. Share your findings with family members.
Decide how and when to talk with your loved one. Keep in mind this is not one talk but will involve many conversations over weeks or perhaps months. Some families find it beneficial to rehearse important conversations before having them with their loved ones.
Treat your loved one with respect. Acknowledge the sadness that comes from loss and the fear caused by change. At the same time, help your loved one understand the peace of mind it will bring you knowing they are living in a safe situation.
Enlist the help of a third party. Recruit a doctor, pastor, or close friend, to talk with your loved one about how a lifestyle change will improve their health and safety.
Assure your loved one that you'll always be there for them. Fill new living quarters with personal belongings, photos, and other items that are meaningful and important.
Accentuate the positive. Many seniors' lives change for the better when they enter living situations that meet their social, emotional, physical, and spiritual needs.